In August, 2007, I spent about 3 weeks in Cambodia... here is my best:
13 Aug 2007
I rented a book fit for the the Wicked Witch of the West and followed my –not to scale- touristy map I ended up on a dusty, rural, dirt road. There were cows the size of VW bugs blocking the road and naked children jumping rope and kicking hacky sacks- hacky sacks are HUGE in Cambodia. The road was understandably full of pot holes and ruts and my bike wasn't handling it too well. I asked a person if I was going the right way and he assured me that it was down this road, so I kept on trekking.
Exciting event 1 : The bike chain broke.
I continued pushing my bike through the dirt, hoping to find a bike shop on this road, with nothing but dusty shacks selling dusty Pepsi cans and farms.
In contrast to the polite Californian rain, which always gives 2 days notice and always starts out slow to give us ample prep time, Asian rain comes out of nowhere and comes with brute force.
Exciting Event 2: It started raining hard as shit,
I was without raincoat and the drops were actually stinging my skin. The people around me kept on kicking hacky sacks, jumping rope, walking with cows... as if nothing was happening, but I could barely walk.
The dirt road became thick, slippery mud in about 30 seconds.
Because I am an idiot, I still kept going, but this clearly wasn't my day. I was slipping and sliding all over the place, my shoes were sinking into this swamp, and I was pushing this POS bike around.
Exciting Event 3 : Dith!
God decided to smile at me and out of nowhere came a tuk tuk.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/62/PICT2817.JPG
A tuk tuk is like Cinderella's beautiful carriage, except they replaced the handsome white horse with an old, smog spitting motorcycle. For the first time on my trip, I was actually happy to see one of these morons and I gladly accepted the ride. He spoke English, he loaded my bike into the cab and he knew how to get to the Killing Fields. If I thought I was slipping around a lot on my feet, this motorcycle was ridiculous… the backend was flying around left to right, spitting mud on my carriage, but I was cool right to left and I was right behind him the whole time, enjoying the ride.
Exciting Event 4 : Dith is a bigger bone-head than me
We went a few kilometers and then the damn thing ran out of gas! The man informed me that just up the road a little, he knew of a woman who sold gasoline from 2 liter soda bottles, he said he'd push us to the "gas station" and we'd soon be on our way. So this guy is pushing his little South-East Asian legs off but not getting far at all (because of the mud). Sitting in the tuk tuk, I started to feel like some kind of slave driver, so I got out and I pushed with him.
To refresh your memory- Rural Cambodia, still pouring rain, 2 idiots (one of them with white skin and a huge nose) are pushing a motorcycle taxi through ankle-deep mud, passing cows and rice farms on either side. Then, a garbage truck came flying down the road, honking his horn- thanks (The Asian sign for, "I'll hit you if you don't move.").
Exciting Event 5 : America is good man
As the truck passed us, it went through a puddle and splashed us like a scene from a cartoon. Both of us were covered in wet mud, from head to toe; even in my mouth. The tuk tuk driver was worried about the 10 dollars he was hoping to squeeze out of me, so he's apologizing and using his muddy T-shirt to wipe my face and arms off.
At this point, I was laughing uncontrollably, as we're still trying our best to push this fucking motorcycle taxi with my decrepit bicycle hanging out the end. The man, relieved that I wasn't upset, was now saying to me, "You are good man." "America is good man."
I concurred.... "Yes, Dith (his name was Dith) America is a good man."
Finally, we made it to the gas lady, we filled up a few liters and we were off to the killing fields. I wandered around the fields, while my tuk tuk man "waited-me" outside. After I was done, I got in the tuk tuk, ready to go to my hotel. The man turned around to talk to me. This happens often and usually the next question is, "You like lady?"--- but it was 2:00 in the afternoon! This guy surprised me though and said, "You like machine gun?" I pause for a minute, taken off guard.
"Yeah, Doesn't everyone?"
Exciting Event number 6: You shoot big gun
"Very close, is shooting range. You shoot big gun, I take you picture, so cool."
I guess I wasn't ready for my adventure to end, and I had a few hours before my bus, so I said OK. We drove back to the "main road" and down another short muddy road and ended up at what looked like a restaurant or something.
Cambodia had a civil war/ genocide... Well it turns out (who would've guessed) the Soviets and the Vietnamese were supplying the bad guys with an excessive amount of weapons and the Americans were funding the counter-insurgency, hoping to meddle without actually meddling.
When the war finally ended, the country was left with a huge number of guns, grenades, rocket launchers, etc.
I don't know if there is something in Buddhism that teaches this, but Asians are by far the most inventive, most entrepreneurial people on Earth. It is because of this that Taiwan and Korea are doing so well these days, it is because of this that China will rule the world one day, it is because of this that the Cambodians built shooting range, where people can fire M16's, Ak-47's and Tommy Guns.
I went in and sat down, and was handed a "menu." Aside from beers and sandwiches, the menu had a list of various guns, flame throwers and rocket launches with prices next to them. At the bottom of the menu, in big letters it read:
YOU MAY NOT TAKE ANY PHOTOS OF THIS MENU.
I got an Ak47, because it sounded the coolest. I went inside a proper, cement shooting range and the guy told me what to do. I fired 25 bullets in about 90 seconds, I paid him 30 dollars, I took some photos and that was it.
We tuk tuk'd home in the rain, I packed my bag and now I am in Siem Riep. My clothes are stil covered in mud.
13 Aug 2007
I rented a book fit for the the Wicked Witch of the West and followed my –not to scale- touristy map I ended up on a dusty, rural, dirt road. There were cows the size of VW bugs blocking the road and naked children jumping rope and kicking hacky sacks- hacky sacks are HUGE in Cambodia. The road was understandably full of pot holes and ruts and my bike wasn't handling it too well. I asked a person if I was going the right way and he assured me that it was down this road, so I kept on trekking.
Exciting event 1 : The bike chain broke.
I continued pushing my bike through the dirt, hoping to find a bike shop on this road, with nothing but dusty shacks selling dusty Pepsi cans and farms.
In contrast to the polite Californian rain, which always gives 2 days notice and always starts out slow to give us ample prep time, Asian rain comes out of nowhere and comes with brute force.
Exciting Event 2: It started raining hard as shit,
I was without raincoat and the drops were actually stinging my skin. The people around me kept on kicking hacky sacks, jumping rope, walking with cows... as if nothing was happening, but I could barely walk.
The dirt road became thick, slippery mud in about 30 seconds.
Because I am an idiot, I still kept going, but this clearly wasn't my day. I was slipping and sliding all over the place, my shoes were sinking into this swamp, and I was pushing this POS bike around.
Exciting Event 3 : Dith!
God decided to smile at me and out of nowhere came a tuk tuk.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/62/PICT2817.JPG
A tuk tuk is like Cinderella's beautiful carriage, except they replaced the handsome white horse with an old, smog spitting motorcycle. For the first time on my trip, I was actually happy to see one of these morons and I gladly accepted the ride. He spoke English, he loaded my bike into the cab and he knew how to get to the Killing Fields. If I thought I was slipping around a lot on my feet, this motorcycle was ridiculous… the backend was flying around left to right, spitting mud on my carriage, but I was cool right to left and I was right behind him the whole time, enjoying the ride.
Exciting Event 4 : Dith is a bigger bone-head than me
We went a few kilometers and then the damn thing ran out of gas! The man informed me that just up the road a little, he knew of a woman who sold gasoline from 2 liter soda bottles, he said he'd push us to the "gas station" and we'd soon be on our way. So this guy is pushing his little South-East Asian legs off but not getting far at all (because of the mud). Sitting in the tuk tuk, I started to feel like some kind of slave driver, so I got out and I pushed with him.
To refresh your memory- Rural Cambodia, still pouring rain, 2 idiots (one of them with white skin and a huge nose) are pushing a motorcycle taxi through ankle-deep mud, passing cows and rice farms on either side. Then, a garbage truck came flying down the road, honking his horn- thanks (The Asian sign for, "I'll hit you if you don't move.").
Exciting Event 5 : America is good man
As the truck passed us, it went through a puddle and splashed us like a scene from a cartoon. Both of us were covered in wet mud, from head to toe; even in my mouth. The tuk tuk driver was worried about the 10 dollars he was hoping to squeeze out of me, so he's apologizing and using his muddy T-shirt to wipe my face and arms off.
At this point, I was laughing uncontrollably, as we're still trying our best to push this fucking motorcycle taxi with my decrepit bicycle hanging out the end. The man, relieved that I wasn't upset, was now saying to me, "You are good man." "America is good man."
I concurred.... "Yes, Dith (his name was Dith) America is a good man."
Finally, we made it to the gas lady, we filled up a few liters and we were off to the killing fields. I wandered around the fields, while my tuk tuk man "waited-me" outside. After I was done, I got in the tuk tuk, ready to go to my hotel. The man turned around to talk to me. This happens often and usually the next question is, "You like lady?"--- but it was 2:00 in the afternoon! This guy surprised me though and said, "You like machine gun?" I pause for a minute, taken off guard.
"Yeah, Doesn't everyone?"
Exciting Event number 6: You shoot big gun
"Very close, is shooting range. You shoot big gun, I take you picture, so cool."
I guess I wasn't ready for my adventure to end, and I had a few hours before my bus, so I said OK. We drove back to the "main road" and down another short muddy road and ended up at what looked like a restaurant or something.
Cambodia had a civil war/ genocide... Well it turns out (who would've guessed) the Soviets and the Vietnamese were supplying the bad guys with an excessive amount of weapons and the Americans were funding the counter-insurgency, hoping to meddle without actually meddling.
When the war finally ended, the country was left with a huge number of guns, grenades, rocket launchers, etc.
I don't know if there is something in Buddhism that teaches this, but Asians are by far the most inventive, most entrepreneurial people on Earth. It is because of this that Taiwan and Korea are doing so well these days, it is because of this that China will rule the world one day, it is because of this that the Cambodians built shooting range, where people can fire M16's, Ak-47's and Tommy Guns.
I went in and sat down, and was handed a "menu." Aside from beers and sandwiches, the menu had a list of various guns, flame throwers and rocket launches with prices next to them. At the bottom of the menu, in big letters it read:
YOU MAY NOT TAKE ANY PHOTOS OF THIS MENU.
I got an Ak47, because it sounded the coolest. I went inside a proper, cement shooting range and the guy told me what to do. I fired 25 bullets in about 90 seconds, I paid him 30 dollars, I took some photos and that was it.
We tuk tuk'd home in the rain, I packed my bag and now I am in Siem Riep. My clothes are stil covered in mud.
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