In August 2007, I went to Cambodia for a few weeks, This is my worst:
Cambodia is a different planet from Thailand. There are no sidewalks, only mud. There are no roads, only mud. There is no food, only pots of rotting vegetables and meat swimming in E-coli. There are no homes, only shacks.... I mean shacks! Most would be unfit for a lawnmower or a pit bull in the states. There is an abundance of 12 or 13 year old kids driving motorcycles. Men everywhere approached me to "have a girl"..... I don't see how anyone could maintain an erection in a country like this.
I walked around the small border town... it was one of the few times in my traveling career when I thought
"my parents worst nightmares have come true."
Everyone here is evil and wants to eat me alive. I am vulnerable and they all know it.... I have no way to communicate and they can all team up against me. I have more money in my pocket than these people have seen in their lives... The people just smiled and waved at me though........
I went back to my hotel bar and met 2 French girls and a Russian guy named Max.... we ended up spending about a week traveling together.... it felt like a cartoon where the animals are looking for gold and they all end up on a mission to find it together.
Together, we departed together (the 4 of us) for a small town in the south-eastern tip on Cambodia. It was raining and raining and raining all day long....thick, heavy, wet rain. The bus ride was probably the distance from LA to San Diego, but it took us over 6 hours. Sometimes the road was paved, other times it was gravel, most of the time it was red mud. We got stuck several times, we pulled Camry's and vans out of the mud and we kept saying
"wow........ not like America, ha ha ha." The Russian drank Vodka all day.
Cambodia has no bridges, so every time there was a river, we had to drive the van onto a boat and cross the river on the boat. The boat was actually 4 canoes tied together with twine. Each crossing took 45 minutes, we would stop and take pictures of mud and children with no clothes on.
We ate rice and ecoli and took more pictures of poverty and bushes. The countryside had nothing but shacks.... by the end of the trip I was saying to myself..."Those rich bastards have a blue shack, all the other shacks are made of brown straw." The nicest shacks were made of plywood or even corrugated metal. The slums were just straw or leaves. It felt odd, it was impossible to see this and not feel sad or depressed or helpless or something...... I couldn't imagine for the life of me what their lives were actually like...... or what I looked like to them.....using a camera worth more than their year's salary, so I could take pictures of their children, who were swimming in mud puddles.
The scenery was really breathtaking...... endless forests and fields of bright, bright green, dark red soil, mountains creeping up into the clouds, rivers crisscrossing everywhere and rice fields, rice fields, rice fields.
We arrived in a desolate beach town called Sihanukville, which was supposedly known for its white sand and clear water.....but it rained lions and tigers for the 5 days I was there. I spilt a hotel with Max the Russian, the Russian who sang in the shower.
The Russian was traveling with a tiny knapsack....... all he had was an extra shirt, a bottle of Vodka, a toothbrush and a snorkel...... I was quite curious how this guy ended up in Cambodia with nothing but a knapsakc, but the language barrier was preventing me from finding out. His English was terrible; we tried to talk (imagine Russian accent).
Matt: How did you end up in Cambodia with nothing but Vodka and a snorkel.
Max: In Thailand I go to Pattaya... beautiful snorkel but girl is more expensive.
Matt: "Hey Max, do you want to go eat dinner?"
Max: "What is this word.... dinner?"
Sometimes he would talk to himself in Russian...and while shitting or showering he sang to himself. I asked him why he came to Cambodia and why he only has a tiny bag, unfit to go to school with..... he said (Russian accent)
I In Moscow talk with girlfriend bad things fighting and we both feel not so good...... I tomorrow next day get airplane to Bangkok and will swimming in sun." He didn't even bring shoes! Max kept talking, "Bangkok very good, but girl too expensive... Now Cambodge, I am king! Take many girl for small moneys... then use my camera for the proofs!
He showed me his cellphone, and scrolled through a dozen or so pictures he'd taken, all of prostitutes or bar girls he'd encountered on his journey; Max especially liked pics of girl's asses. Max's English was almost non-existent, but he could discuss three things and he repeated them to me hourly- girls, Tom Yam (a spicy Thai soup) and the beach.
Later on in our journey, Max and I bumped into a German girl in a restaurant; she could speak Russian, but not English, but soon her Austrian boyfriend came along, he could speak German and Enlgish.
Max hadn't met any Russian speakers since his trip started two weeks earlier... so he excitedly told her his whole story, she then translated to the boyfriend, who translated to me. Here is Max's story, told to me third hand, while I sat next to him, eating Tom Yam; Max insisted that I buy Tom Yam anytime we ate together.
About 2 or 3 weeks ago, I got in a huge fight with my wife. She was angry because I forgot to shut the door when I went to work that morning... I told her to shut the fuck up, and we haven't talked since. The next morning, I woke up on the couch and went to work. When I got to the office, my boss came in to see me. He was waving around a plane ticket, saying he had a ticket for Bangkok, but couldn't leave work. He asked if I was willing to take it.
I graciously accepted, but was then told that the plane took off in less than 3 hours. I ran home, but my wife had changed the locks. I quickly ran to a drug store, bought a small bag, a snorkel, a pair of flip flops and some sunglasses.
I landed in Bangkok, wearing my suit and shoes (from work) but left those in my first hotel room. I used the extra space in my bag for a bottle of Vodka.
This was Max's story. Max was a sex tourist and a total bonehead, but he was very friendly and I found him to be quite endearing. Later that night, Max invited me out to a bar to see a girl. When I declined, Max noted that I had turned him down on this 3 nights in a row. Max asked me if I was gay.
Matt: I'm not gay Max... but I do have a girlfriend in Taiwan.
Max hit me on the arm.
Max: That is okay.... I have the wife!
That night, Max hopped in the shower, sang some Russian songs and went out to explore Cambodia.
I read my book for a while and went to bed. When I woke up the next morning, Max was gathering his belongings and running out the door. Outside the hotel window, there was a black Mercedes and a shady, Russian-looking guy outside, smoking a cigarette. In the back seat were four teenage Cambodian girls.
Max hugged me and explained that me met an ex-KGB member who offered to put him up in a 4-star hotel, where he'd pay for all the food, the room and the girls. Max was genuinely scared that he'd offend me, but tried to explain that he was low on cash and almost out of Vodka.
After that I hopped more buses to cross more bumpy roads, seeing more lush green fields and more shacks. I'd go on to have more fun, but never met any more Max's.
Cambodia is a different planet from Thailand. There are no sidewalks, only mud. There are no roads, only mud. There is no food, only pots of rotting vegetables and meat swimming in E-coli. There are no homes, only shacks.... I mean shacks! Most would be unfit for a lawnmower or a pit bull in the states. There is an abundance of 12 or 13 year old kids driving motorcycles. Men everywhere approached me to "have a girl"..... I don't see how anyone could maintain an erection in a country like this.
I walked around the small border town... it was one of the few times in my traveling career when I thought
"my parents worst nightmares have come true."
Everyone here is evil and wants to eat me alive. I am vulnerable and they all know it.... I have no way to communicate and they can all team up against me. I have more money in my pocket than these people have seen in their lives... The people just smiled and waved at me though........
I went back to my hotel bar and met 2 French girls and a Russian guy named Max.... we ended up spending about a week traveling together.... it felt like a cartoon where the animals are looking for gold and they all end up on a mission to find it together.
Together, we departed together (the 4 of us) for a small town in the south-eastern tip on Cambodia. It was raining and raining and raining all day long....thick, heavy, wet rain. The bus ride was probably the distance from LA to San Diego, but it took us over 6 hours. Sometimes the road was paved, other times it was gravel, most of the time it was red mud. We got stuck several times, we pulled Camry's and vans out of the mud and we kept saying
"wow........ not like America, ha ha ha." The Russian drank Vodka all day.
Cambodia has no bridges, so every time there was a river, we had to drive the van onto a boat and cross the river on the boat. The boat was actually 4 canoes tied together with twine. Each crossing took 45 minutes, we would stop and take pictures of mud and children with no clothes on.
We ate rice and ecoli and took more pictures of poverty and bushes. The countryside had nothing but shacks.... by the end of the trip I was saying to myself..."Those rich bastards have a blue shack, all the other shacks are made of brown straw." The nicest shacks were made of plywood or even corrugated metal. The slums were just straw or leaves. It felt odd, it was impossible to see this and not feel sad or depressed or helpless or something...... I couldn't imagine for the life of me what their lives were actually like...... or what I looked like to them.....using a camera worth more than their year's salary, so I could take pictures of their children, who were swimming in mud puddles.
The scenery was really breathtaking...... endless forests and fields of bright, bright green, dark red soil, mountains creeping up into the clouds, rivers crisscrossing everywhere and rice fields, rice fields, rice fields.
We arrived in a desolate beach town called Sihanukville, which was supposedly known for its white sand and clear water.....but it rained lions and tigers for the 5 days I was there. I spilt a hotel with Max the Russian, the Russian who sang in the shower.
The Russian was traveling with a tiny knapsack....... all he had was an extra shirt, a bottle of Vodka, a toothbrush and a snorkel...... I was quite curious how this guy ended up in Cambodia with nothing but a knapsakc, but the language barrier was preventing me from finding out. His English was terrible; we tried to talk (imagine Russian accent).
Matt: How did you end up in Cambodia with nothing but Vodka and a snorkel.
Max: In Thailand I go to Pattaya... beautiful snorkel but girl is more expensive.
Matt: "Hey Max, do you want to go eat dinner?"
Max: "What is this word.... dinner?"
Matt: "I will travel to Phenom Krun... I heard it is a nice place."
Max: "I don't know this word... niceplace."
Max: "I don't know this word... niceplace."
Sometimes he would talk to himself in Russian...and while shitting or showering he sang to himself. I asked him why he came to Cambodia and why he only has a tiny bag, unfit to go to school with..... he said (Russian accent)
I In Moscow talk with girlfriend bad things fighting and we both feel not so good...... I tomorrow next day get airplane to Bangkok and will swimming in sun." He didn't even bring shoes! Max kept talking, "Bangkok very good, but girl too expensive... Now Cambodge, I am king! Take many girl for small moneys... then use my camera for the proofs!
He showed me his cellphone, and scrolled through a dozen or so pictures he'd taken, all of prostitutes or bar girls he'd encountered on his journey; Max especially liked pics of girl's asses. Max's English was almost non-existent, but he could discuss three things and he repeated them to me hourly- girls, Tom Yam (a spicy Thai soup) and the beach.
Later on in our journey, Max and I bumped into a German girl in a restaurant; she could speak Russian, but not English, but soon her Austrian boyfriend came along, he could speak German and Enlgish.
Max hadn't met any Russian speakers since his trip started two weeks earlier... so he excitedly told her his whole story, she then translated to the boyfriend, who translated to me. Here is Max's story, told to me third hand, while I sat next to him, eating Tom Yam; Max insisted that I buy Tom Yam anytime we ate together.
About 2 or 3 weeks ago, I got in a huge fight with my wife. She was angry because I forgot to shut the door when I went to work that morning... I told her to shut the fuck up, and we haven't talked since. The next morning, I woke up on the couch and went to work. When I got to the office, my boss came in to see me. He was waving around a plane ticket, saying he had a ticket for Bangkok, but couldn't leave work. He asked if I was willing to take it.
I graciously accepted, but was then told that the plane took off in less than 3 hours. I ran home, but my wife had changed the locks. I quickly ran to a drug store, bought a small bag, a snorkel, a pair of flip flops and some sunglasses.
I landed in Bangkok, wearing my suit and shoes (from work) but left those in my first hotel room. I used the extra space in my bag for a bottle of Vodka.
This was Max's story. Max was a sex tourist and a total bonehead, but he was very friendly and I found him to be quite endearing. Later that night, Max invited me out to a bar to see a girl. When I declined, Max noted that I had turned him down on this 3 nights in a row. Max asked me if I was gay.
Matt: I'm not gay Max... but I do have a girlfriend in Taiwan.
Max hit me on the arm.
Max: That is okay.... I have the wife!
That night, Max hopped in the shower, sang some Russian songs and went out to explore Cambodia.
I read my book for a while and went to bed. When I woke up the next morning, Max was gathering his belongings and running out the door. Outside the hotel window, there was a black Mercedes and a shady, Russian-looking guy outside, smoking a cigarette. In the back seat were four teenage Cambodian girls.
Max hugged me and explained that me met an ex-KGB member who offered to put him up in a 4-star hotel, where he'd pay for all the food, the room and the girls. Max was genuinely scared that he'd offend me, but tried to explain that he was low on cash and almost out of Vodka.
After that I hopped more buses to cross more bumpy roads, seeing more lush green fields and more shacks. I'd go on to have more fun, but never met any more Max's.
No comments:
Post a Comment